Warp Zone

I woke up today feeling strange. It took me a while to realize why I was feeling all miserable. Then, slowly, it came to me. It struck me as surely as how a lightning sets it target on an unknowing tree.

I felt as if I were on a time machine. The way the flashbacks came, it was as if I'd die on the spot had they been played a little slower. Everything came in blurred. But every blurred image came in with its meaning, presenting itself upright to my face. All I could think about all the time that I was on this hellish time-ride was that I'm not ready for this. I desperately wanted to stop, to change things as I pass by those events. But, I can't. I wish that I was at least warned. I could've bought a pacemaker to at least have my heart ready.

We all know that life's never fair.

So now I sit here alone, with the electricity out because of the storm, contributing to my misery, thinking. Where do I go from here? I'm more lost than the puppies out on the streets. At least, in their minds, they have one goal: 'Find master, serve for him, protect him.' In my case, however, I really have nowhere to go. I'm stuck in this void world with my two greatest nemesis. If's and but's.

What if...
But he said...
If only...
But we promised...

Deep down in my heart, the sound of a brutally sarcastic laugh echoes. It's presenting its own opinion on the crisis that I am in right now. It voices out the only thing that's occupying my mind as of the moment. Something that my mouth can't put into words : I told you so. I told you not to believe.

And here's where the question of where I'd be from this pops up again. Everything comes up again and I'd have to undergo the same hurtful process. It's like choosing the easier way out but ending up having to headbutt your way out instead because you ran into a dead-end.

The funny part is, I am not crying. They always say that in cases like this, breaking down in tears is the surest way to a quick recovery. I wonder if that's the reason why I'm neither feeling that bad nor am I feeling the slightest bit okay.

Out of this whole dilemma, I came to realize something. Oftentimes, we get so distracted by the busy lives of people around us that we tend to be side-tracked from our real goals. I found out that its okay to go on a different path as long as you'd still keep in mind your real goal. Nothing's wrong with being distracted once in a while because these little things help us grow. We just have to remember not to be pulled downwards by those little things because at the end of the day, its still your goals that matter.

Updated Facebook About Me.

My name is Jessica, just like the thousands of girls out there. I don't hate it, of course. But I'm not 'that' into it, either. If you've entered a class before and someone calls your name but 3 different people looked (excluding you), you'd know what I mean.

I was born under the Astrological sign of Pisces and it was told that we were supposed to be imaginative. That- I highly agree upon. When I'm not running, which, by the way is one of my passions in life, my imagination takes over as a sub and finishes the lap without panting or stopping in midway. My imagination just runs freely. No boundaries, no limits.

Don't try to understand me because I am very unpredictable. I'm not planning to be on the safe side all my life. I like stepping into the unknown and indulging myself with all of the new challenges on the path that I've ended up with. That way, when I've finally reached the end line, I'd proudly move on knowing that I had survived that previous one with my own thinking, courage and self- confidence.

I've always wanted to be a writer but I ended up as a technical support representative and I am now spending 8 hours of my life, 5 days a week with non- stop technical blah blah blahs. I really like to draw but I ended up loving guitars more than pastels. I wear cosmetics but sweats, pants and sneakers are what I prefer to wear most.

Yes, I am weird that way for most people. But for me, that's what's drawing the fine line between the Jessica Diane that I am, and all the other Jessicas in the world. That's me being myself- being unique. So if you're going to ask me "Why be like that?", let me ask you something in return:

Why not like this?

Love note to whoever reads this:
HEYYYYYY!Stalkers stalk. They don't go around telling the one they're following that they are stalking them. Uhm, yeah, that was confusing. Bottom line is: I don't add people whom I've never even met in real life. A few exceptions, of course. Those whom I've added long before I decided to stop accepting others. So if you want to add me, sorry. Srsly, I'm sorry. You can catch more of me on my blogger site, though. Or other websites of mine. My screen name's pretty searchable through Google, y'know. *wink*