Maybe things would have been different if he gave me another chance.
I keep on thinking this ever since smoochy came. Ever since I read his comment on our friendster profile. When we broke up, I felt like I’ll never be okay again. I mean, I’ve known him for almost a year and we just lasted for 2 days but, I really did love him. I like to think that I did. I mean, it is because of him that I learned how to wait. I know that he doesn’t text me often but I still wait for the times when my phone beeps and it is his name that would appear. I’ve said the phrase ‘I miss you’ to almost everyone without really meaning it. But whenever I say it to him, I really do mean it.
He asked for a space.
I asked for a break- up.
He agreed.
And that really did crush my heart. I mean, I chose him over my ultimate crush not just because I love him but because I was so sure that we would last for a very long time. I was so sure that he would never leave me. It turned out that I was really, really wrong. And as if dumping me once isn’t enough, he did it twice. After our break- up, I asked him if I could have him back. He clearly said no. Then he added that we just aren’t for each other. It sucks, right?
So there, that ended the most unusual love story I’ve ever known. My Halloween love story.
I can’t believe that it has to take a man, being dumped twice, a lot of tears and many really, really sad nights for me to learn how to really love someone. I don’t blame him, of course. There’s still a part in my past that he owns. A part of my life that I could never erase.
I was his first. I want him to always remember me like that. No other memories. Just a girl whom he once knew who suddenly vanished but whose love always remained in him. In return, I’ll always remember him as the guy who taught me things that no other guy in my past ever had the decency to teach me. That is, in loving someone, you should always be prepared to get hurt. You should also learn how to trust, wait and never take anyone for granted. You would never know until when someone is yours so tell them all the things that you want to say. Don’t keep it all to yourself.
I never got to tell him how much I love him but that is inessential now.
New Year is just hours away and a new man came into my life. I’m now ready to open up my heart again. I do hope that this time it would finally work.
*Never think that just because I have someone new less than 2 months after our break- up, that I never really did love you. As what you’ve said, we just aren’t for each other. I guess fate brought us together to learn the things that we continuously ignore before. I’m glad that I learned all those things from you.
In case you’re wondering, I stopped trying to pick up the fragments of our yesterday because that’ll just hurt me more. At least this way, we parted ways as friends. We’ll always remain as friends. No more, no less. I want it to stay that way.
-for mikel.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
my fairytale night.
Of all the guys that I ever met, this one guy is really different. At first, I didn’t even spare any attention towards him. I guess he wasn’t that handsome for me, before. I mean, he is really small for his age and he looks as if he’s just a kid. But I got the chance to talk to him and eventually we became close friends.
The funny part of our friendship is that it started because I used to like him. I started to ask him stupid questions just so I could have the chance to talk to him. It wasn’t that hard to talk to him, though. He’s really friendly.
Whenever it’s our Logic time, I listen attentively so that whenever he would ask me something, I could answer him correctly. It’s not because I want to impress him or anything. I just want to have a chance to talk to him.
I really liked him so much that even the simplest text message from him brings a smile on my face.
I said that he really is different. I don’t know why either. But, what I see in him that I like best is the fact that though there are a lot of girls who are drooling over him, he never entertains them if he doesn’t like them. For me, that’s sort of- kind. At least, when he isn’t flirting with the girls, it means that he is really serious about relationships. He sticks only to the girl that he likes.
He is a really sweet friend. Maybe that’s why I found it hard to accept the fact that we’ll just remain as friends.
But, one thing that I learned from him is that being friends is much better than having a relationship. We get along well as friends. We talk, we joke around, and we share our secrets with each other without being shy. For me, it’s something that we can never do whenever our relationship is more than friends.
When the first semester ended, our friendship started to turn cold. It’s like we just know each other whenever we need something. It’s sad, isn’t it? And when the time came when he won a pageant for the title of Mr. Microbiology, I already accepted the fact that he would always be that great guy whom most girls adore, while I am just a girl who met him in a Logic class. We’ll always be different.
He’s popular, I’m not.
He’s serious, I’m always joking around.
He’s quiet, I’m loud.
He likes older girls; I’m 2 years younger than he is.
It would be a real miracle if we end up together. So there, I thought that was the end of our friendship. Until, one of my block mates celebrated her 18th birthday and we were both invited.
I could remember that he really is sweet but that night, his sweetness is different. I guess we just missed each other so much.
I placed my hand on his shoulder and said that I really, really miss him. And he-
He placed his hand on my waist and said that he misses me so much, too.
Of all the times that he said that to me, that night was the only time that I felt that he was really sincere. And for the first time in months, I looked at him, and saw the guy that I used to like.
I guess I was just attracted to him again because he was really different that night.
Here’s my proof:
1.) We shared drinks. While eating, I drank my cola and he said that he already drank on that glass before. I said that it was mine and that his drink was the other one. But, he said that he doesn’t like the other drink and that, since we both had drank on my glass already, we shouldn’t mind sharing it.
2.) He placed his hand on the back of my seat when we were taking pictures of ourselves. Actually, the fact that he allowed me to take pictures of ourselves is already odd. He doesn’t like it that much before. I was really shocked when he placed his hand on the back of my seat. It gave the picture a sort of romantic image. Of all the things that he hates, it is when he is linked to a girl. What was more; he dared me to use our photo as my primary picture on my Friendster profile. He also said that he would grab it and would use it in his profile as well.
3.) He keeps on joking that he would kiss me. He’s a real joker. It’s in his nature. But kissing me is never his type of joke. We’ve known each other for more than four months and he never did joke me about anything like that. But that night, I think that he really is serious. One time, he took my bag and I refused to let him see what’s inside it. I tried to grab it from him and I ended up hugging him. He asked me to let go of the bag or else he would kiss me. I said that I know that he wouldn’t do it. But he said that he was serious. And he really looked serious so I let go of my bag.
4.) He held my hand. I was telling my best friend to touch his hand because it was really soft. After she did so, I was pressing his fingers again when he held my hand. I was really shocked but, for a moment, I held on to his hand, too. Then, eventually, I let go.
While we were together, I could feel that he sort of - want to kiss me. It isn’t that hard to notice. While we were taking pictures, he posed as if he was kissing my cheek. Only I looked at him and he smiled and said that it was just a joke. There was also the instance when he just smoked with my best friend. But, he asked me to accompany him for he likes to smoke again. There was a post there and I leaned to it for support. He sort of came close to me. Only, my best friend suddenly said that her parents were already there and that she has to go already. She said that she would go inside to say goodbye to our friends. So, we were left alone.
I feel really awkward being in a situation like that since I already have a boyfriend. It was a good thing that I saw our car approaching the parking lot. When I told him that I had to go, he was telling me to stay for a short while. But I really had to go and so, I ran away from him to check if it was really our car. He was looking at me and I was waving goodbye at him from afar. It sort of reminds me of Cinderella because it was exactly midnight then.
So, I went up and said goodbye to my friends, too. When I was about to go, he suddenly appeared. And I-
I kissed his cheek. And he asked me to stay longer but I said that I really must go.
And there. I went home.
That night (it was already morning, though); we even got the chance to send messages to each other. And you know what he said?
He said that I shouldn’t have gone home that early. I asked him why.
He said that we haven’t kissed each other, yet. He also said that he really does miss me. Seriously.
So there. That was my fairytale night where I got the chance to be Cinderella. When we woke up the next morning, we were back to being just close friends. I wasn’t complaining, though. As what I’ve said, it’s much better for us to be friends than to be in a relationship.
That night, I was his Cinderella and he was my prince.
But in reality, I am Cinderella and Mikee would ALWAYS be my prince.
Some things are better done and shared as friends than being lovers. And that goes well for him and me. :)
The funny part of our friendship is that it started because I used to like him. I started to ask him stupid questions just so I could have the chance to talk to him. It wasn’t that hard to talk to him, though. He’s really friendly.
Whenever it’s our Logic time, I listen attentively so that whenever he would ask me something, I could answer him correctly. It’s not because I want to impress him or anything. I just want to have a chance to talk to him.
I really liked him so much that even the simplest text message from him brings a smile on my face.
I said that he really is different. I don’t know why either. But, what I see in him that I like best is the fact that though there are a lot of girls who are drooling over him, he never entertains them if he doesn’t like them. For me, that’s sort of- kind. At least, when he isn’t flirting with the girls, it means that he is really serious about relationships. He sticks only to the girl that he likes.
He is a really sweet friend. Maybe that’s why I found it hard to accept the fact that we’ll just remain as friends.
But, one thing that I learned from him is that being friends is much better than having a relationship. We get along well as friends. We talk, we joke around, and we share our secrets with each other without being shy. For me, it’s something that we can never do whenever our relationship is more than friends.
When the first semester ended, our friendship started to turn cold. It’s like we just know each other whenever we need something. It’s sad, isn’t it? And when the time came when he won a pageant for the title of Mr. Microbiology, I already accepted the fact that he would always be that great guy whom most girls adore, while I am just a girl who met him in a Logic class. We’ll always be different.
He’s popular, I’m not.
He’s serious, I’m always joking around.
He’s quiet, I’m loud.
He likes older girls; I’m 2 years younger than he is.
It would be a real miracle if we end up together. So there, I thought that was the end of our friendship. Until, one of my block mates celebrated her 18th birthday and we were both invited.
I could remember that he really is sweet but that night, his sweetness is different. I guess we just missed each other so much.
I placed my hand on his shoulder and said that I really, really miss him. And he-
He placed his hand on my waist and said that he misses me so much, too.
Of all the times that he said that to me, that night was the only time that I felt that he was really sincere. And for the first time in months, I looked at him, and saw the guy that I used to like.
I guess I was just attracted to him again because he was really different that night.
Here’s my proof:
1.) We shared drinks. While eating, I drank my cola and he said that he already drank on that glass before. I said that it was mine and that his drink was the other one. But, he said that he doesn’t like the other drink and that, since we both had drank on my glass already, we shouldn’t mind sharing it.
2.) He placed his hand on the back of my seat when we were taking pictures of ourselves. Actually, the fact that he allowed me to take pictures of ourselves is already odd. He doesn’t like it that much before. I was really shocked when he placed his hand on the back of my seat. It gave the picture a sort of romantic image. Of all the things that he hates, it is when he is linked to a girl. What was more; he dared me to use our photo as my primary picture on my Friendster profile. He also said that he would grab it and would use it in his profile as well.
3.) He keeps on joking that he would kiss me. He’s a real joker. It’s in his nature. But kissing me is never his type of joke. We’ve known each other for more than four months and he never did joke me about anything like that. But that night, I think that he really is serious. One time, he took my bag and I refused to let him see what’s inside it. I tried to grab it from him and I ended up hugging him. He asked me to let go of the bag or else he would kiss me. I said that I know that he wouldn’t do it. But he said that he was serious. And he really looked serious so I let go of my bag.
4.) He held my hand. I was telling my best friend to touch his hand because it was really soft. After she did so, I was pressing his fingers again when he held my hand. I was really shocked but, for a moment, I held on to his hand, too. Then, eventually, I let go.
While we were together, I could feel that he sort of - want to kiss me. It isn’t that hard to notice. While we were taking pictures, he posed as if he was kissing my cheek. Only I looked at him and he smiled and said that it was just a joke. There was also the instance when he just smoked with my best friend. But, he asked me to accompany him for he likes to smoke again. There was a post there and I leaned to it for support. He sort of came close to me. Only, my best friend suddenly said that her parents were already there and that she has to go already. She said that she would go inside to say goodbye to our friends. So, we were left alone.
I feel really awkward being in a situation like that since I already have a boyfriend. It was a good thing that I saw our car approaching the parking lot. When I told him that I had to go, he was telling me to stay for a short while. But I really had to go and so, I ran away from him to check if it was really our car. He was looking at me and I was waving goodbye at him from afar. It sort of reminds me of Cinderella because it was exactly midnight then.
So, I went up and said goodbye to my friends, too. When I was about to go, he suddenly appeared. And I-
I kissed his cheek. And he asked me to stay longer but I said that I really must go.
And there. I went home.
That night (it was already morning, though); we even got the chance to send messages to each other. And you know what he said?
He said that I shouldn’t have gone home that early. I asked him why.
He said that we haven’t kissed each other, yet. He also said that he really does miss me. Seriously.
So there. That was my fairytale night where I got the chance to be Cinderella. When we woke up the next morning, we were back to being just close friends. I wasn’t complaining, though. As what I’ve said, it’s much better for us to be friends than to be in a relationship.
That night, I was his Cinderella and he was my prince.
But in reality, I am Cinderella and Mikee would ALWAYS be my prince.
Some things are better done and shared as friends than being lovers. And that goes well for him and me. :)
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