JMGDM

Dear you,

First off, if you're reading this, congratulations! You found it. ;)

I've originally created a longer blog entry for you. I was 14 paragraphs through that entry but somehow, I can no longer finish it. I can't blame it to the good old writer's block, because quite obviously, given that I'm halfway through this intro already, it shows that I can still compose new ones. Besides, I just finished a blog yesterday. Surely, my ideas aren't on hold.

Truth be told, I really didn't know what was stopping me from finishing it up. I can point it out to me being lazy, or to me, doing other stuff at the exact same time as I was composing that, but when I've contemplated long enough yesterday, I realized that the reason why I can't finish it is because the story itself came to an abrupt stop that my mind must've automatically turned itself into hiatus with regards to that story.

So here I am, raising my white flag and putting the last dot into this story. I know that this wasn't a story for you but for me, it was. And short though, as it may be, I'm still glad that I've had my second chance. Lady luck wasn't as cruel to me as how I've originally thought.

So, yeah, I like you, or liked, whatever. And I've liked you longer than how I've liked my new eye-candy in the person of Miura Haruma. :3

2 years ago, had I not been in a rocky relationship then, or had I had the courage to free myself out of that mess, I know that I still wouldn't have had a chance. You have no idea how long I've resisted adding you up on Facebook and starting a conversation with you. All this time, up to the point wherein I've already added you up, I've always looked at your profile, asking myself whether I should do it or not.

I never had enough courage until last year. That was when I've found out that you are in a long-term relationship. You never told me but I kind of figured it out with your posts and all. We got to exchange messages briefly and you suddenly stopped talking to me as though I don't exist at all. That was fine with me, though. Because I know that you are happy. And I, myself was trying to patch things up in the messy relationship that I was in.

After a year, a lot has changed. I accidentally deleted all of my contacts when I upgraded my phone to iOS5. It was silly of me to update it without backing it up. I lost not only my contacts but the messages and all my apps, as well. I vaguely remember sending messages to my friends over Facebook that time. With you, though, I didn't get a reply. That was still fine by me. :)

This month, I got myself a new spare phone and as I was playing with it, I saw that the old messages on my sim card were still there. I was browsing through it when I saw your name. It was funny because while I was blankly staring at our previous messages, I remember saving your number on my sim card itself in case I lose my contacts. It took me a few days to muster up all of the courage that I can get, to send you a message. Surprisingly, you replied. :)

It was short but I've missed it. For reasons unknown to the universe, the bittersweet feeling of sending you messages and waiting to see if you'll reply has got me hooked. And before I knew it, the bittersweet feeling has turned into a plain bitter one, when I've finally realized that I'm at the end of my ride and you'll no longer reply.

Pardon my sentiments but I think that if I don't let this all off now, I'd never be able to let you go. Don't worry. After this, since I've already raised my white flag, I'll never bug you again in any way. Let me tell you everything now, so as to help myself move forward and not look back again. I can't promise to make it as short as how you want it to be but I'll do my best to make it straight to the point.

As what I've said above, I like you, and I'll probably always will. To me, you're a constant living reminder of the pain of wanting someone I can't have. I should probably hate you for that. But I'm not a person who's living with hatred. As what I've said, I'd like to say everything that I want to be able to let go and move forward.

Also, you're a constant reminder that I should never rush into decisions and learn how to wait. You might've not noticed it but, yeah. I can be one of the most impatient girls ever born in this planet. You know, since you've mentioned that you've been single for months now, I've always wanted to give myself a great punch. Not to brag, but I can punch really hard for a girl. So, yeah. I know that it was long a shot but I was wondering if things would've changed had I waited. Probably not, but at least I would've presented myself with a little ray of hope back then. But I didn't wait so I guess I'd never find out the answer to that now.

I'd like to thank you, though, for putting up with me until now. It hurts when you don't reply but as what I've said, it's better that way so I don't get attached. You know how it goes. When people start doing something everyday, it becomes a hobby for them. And someday, no, probably by tomorrow, I'd have a new hobby. One which involves me, not waiting for your replies anymore. Kinda sucks because it feels as if I'm breaking up with someone I've seen only twice! Ha-ha. But try to live two years of your life, wanting someone you can never ever have and you'd probably know what I mean and what I've felt all this time.

I guess I have to finish this here because I don't want to trigger the waterworks. Once a tear falls off my eye, I know that I won't be able to say goodbye again. So, yeah. I guess this is it. I'm throwing off the white flag in the air and I'll be taking a deep breath and when I let it out, that'll be my final good bye.

Bye, bye, you evil vampire. ;)

P.S. I was actually gonna ask you out. Yeah. Brave move of mine. But you never replied so, I am partly thankful. I can't imagine the embarrassment of being dumped by the same person twice! Ha-ha!
 posted from Bloggeroid

Koizora Night!

So, I've recently got myself a new eye-candy after watching the Bloody Monday Jseries. :3


Who else?!


Miura Haruma, of course. :3




For six years straight, I've been a loyal Jun Matsumoto fan. I've downloaded all of his movies and drama series just because being her fangirl has been a huge part of my life already. Yeah, well, that sounds like an exaggeration but, what the hell? Six years. Surely, that's a long time already.


So, back to Miura...


He's awesome. I can't deny that his acting skills are a bit too amateur compared to MatsuJun's but he's got talent. I've got to give him that much. Plus, his face value's enough, of course. I can't believe that instead of watching Hana Yori Dango again a few days ago, I've decided to wait for my torrent downloads of Miura Haruma's movies/ series to finish. I guess I've finally realized that Jun Matsumoto's too old for me. Ha-ha!


Anyways, so last Monday, I've finally finished my download of Koizora aka Sky of Love. :3 It stars Miura Haruma(of course!) and Yui Aragaki. 

Photo source: [  http://www.mysoju.com/japanese-movie/koizora/ ]

I've watched it with one of Selecta's Hershey's collection: Heath. That was a good flavor, by the way. Although for people who easily feel like vomiting with too much sugar, sorry, but I don't think that's the right flavor for you.

The female lead was awfully familiar to me but I was wondering why her voice doesn't ring a bell. Then, it hit me. She was the lead girl of Jun Matsumoto from Smile. That explains a lot, given that she was mute in that series.  That's why her voice didn't sound familiar, at all!

I especially liked Miura's silver hair in the movie. :3 Made me kind of disappointed that he switched it over to black briefly, halfway through the movie. I was partly glad that he switched it over to white again but that's when I've realized that the movie's going on a fast track towards the ending, which, I'm guessing that most of you know already, is a sad one.

It's not as if I wasn't expecting it, though. When I've finished watching the two seasons of Bloody Monday, I amused myself by downloading photos of Miura Haruma and that's when I've found out that that silver hair of his was used for one of his movies. I immediately Googled it, and voila! spoilers here and there. So, yeah. I knew all along that he's gonna die in that movie.

All in all, though I didn't find anything spectacular with regards to the lead actors' acting skills, I still find the movie worth watching again and again and again. And that's about 90% because of Miura Haruma, of course. :3 <3333

P.S. Only when I Googled the first picture did I found out that Miura Haruma's sister in this movie is actually Karina. Yeah, she's the one who was with Jun Matsumoto in Bambino! and Myu no Anyo Papa ni Ageru. I don't know why but I've always found her pretty in those other shows. I didn't like her much in Koizora, though. She looks kindaaaaa- wasted and old? Yeah. Something like that.