Hey.
I don't know how to approach you without us getting on each other's nerves so I've decided to type it out instead. I'm sorry if I'm still as hard-headed as how I've always been. You know, contrary to your belief, it's not easy for me to talk back. It pains me to do that as much as it pains you to hear me answer back to you. I know I've got anger management issues but at the end of the day, no, just by the end of each argument, I feel really bad for having to talk back to you just to state out my point.
I don't want to argue with you but how can we talk properly when you wouldn't even listen?
I want you to be happy on your own. I want you to achieve true happiness by yourself. Not by being dependent on others, because it's not forever that friends get to stay by your side. There will come a time wherein you will be left behind and when that time comes, I want to look at you and be proud that you can stand on your own.
As long as you're being dependent like that, I'm scared to leave you. Because I don't want a time to come wherein I'll regret my decision to leave without making sure that you are okay by yourself. We've been there before and I don't want that feeling to come back again. That feeling of helplessness. I don't want to see you cry because you are pitying yourself. Not because I pity you, but because I hate the fact that you can't see your own worth. If other people can't appreciate you, I want you to stop caring because you don't have to please any of them. It's enough that you love yourself enough to be able to live without minding the opinion of others.
It's not as if I don't want you to enjoy. In fact, I want you to have the time of your life. I want to leave not because I want to be able to have a new family but because I want to work, for me to able to give you the life of a queen. It may not even be close, but at least it would be enough for me to raise you from the life status of an average person.
I hope you realize that I want nothing more than to see you happily spending the rest of your life. I don't care if I have to work my ass off everyday, as long as I give you everything that will make you happy. All I want is for you to look in the mirror everyday and tell yourself that you are happy. Not because you have friends, not because someone cares for you, but simply because you exist and that alone makes at least a person ecstatic. Yeah, that person is me.
