WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER WRITING DOWN MY THOUGHTS WHEN I KNOW THAT THEY SUCK? WHY DO I HAVE TO PROLONG IT WHEN I KNOW HOW TO SAY IT DIRECTLY ANYWAY?
SHE'S GIVING ME A HEARTACHE THAT I DON'T DESERVE.
YES, IT HURTS. THE PAIN IS UNIMAGINABLE AND I DON'T KNOW UNTIL WHEN I CAN BEAR THIS. ITS THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD FOR ME. ONE LOOK IS ALL IT TAKES FOR THE TRUTH TO SINK INTO ME. IN EVERY ANGLE, IN EVERY WAY, SHE'S GREATER THAN ME. THAT'S ONE THING THAT I HAVE TO LEARN TO LIVE WITH.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? IT HURTS MORE TO TRY TO TALK TO ANYBODY AND HEAR THEIR FALSE COMFORTING WORDS BECAUSE YOU DON'T NEED TO LOOK INTO THEIR EYES TO KNOW THAT DEEP INSIDE, THEY CAN SEE CLEARLY THAT I AM FIGHTING A LOSING BATTLE.
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CRAP. THIS IS THE CRAPPIEST BLOG ENTRY IVE EVER DONE. MORE THAN HALF OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW WOULDN'T GET TO UNDERSTAND THIS AND THE REMAINING HANDFUL OF MY FRIENDS WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO RESPOND TO THIS.
BOTTOM LINE? IF YOU LOVE ME, DO ME A FAVOR AND PLEASE DO TAPE MY MOUTH. LATELY IM BEING DIFFERENT. I AM OPENING UP MY FEELINGS AND IT SO NOT OKAY FOR ME TO BE LIKE THAT. I WANT THEM TO BE KEPT INSIDE ME AGAIN, WHERE NO ONE CAN SEE IT.
