A simple girl's letter to a perfect guy.
Choices. We all have choices.We decide on our own, just like the fact that I chose to like you despite obvious obstacles. It's funny how I end up not being able to write this as smoothly as my previous blog entries when in fact, everything that I have on my mind is strangely connected to you. Lately, you've been the hot topic on my mind. It's always about you.
My emotions are overflowing. I want to cry, to laugh and to shout out loud.
I want to run away and never show myself to you ever again but, a stronger part of me pictures myself running away with you.
I don't even know myself now. I used to be really transparent over everything. I cry when I'm sad, I laugh when I'm happy. Now, I laugh though every bit of me hurts and I pretend to be happy though my heart is being continually punctured by you.
My intentions are clear towards you. I want to like you and I am ASSUMING that you like me, too. I am falling deeper while you are having the time of your life playing. What's funny is that it does not matter to me.Go play. Just let me like you. Maybe, by the time that the game's finally over for you, I've already learned to love you. That's okay. There's always more than enough alcohol for me and the rashes from it are really tolerable. It numbs the heart burn for a little while.
I'll get drunk, kiss my girlfriends and sleep.
When I wake up, I'll have a severe headache and my heart would beat fast as your face would pop up on my mind as it always does every morning when I wake up. I'll go home straight just so I could still have a little talk with you before you have your afternoon nap.
I always love chatting with you. I'll go straight home from school just to wait for you to buzz me or something. Sometimes, I'll be oh so excited to come home just to find out that your internet connection bailed out on you and that we wouldn't be able to talk after all. It crushes my heart everytime, but you know what? It doesn't matter to me. I always understand you. I'm just happy doing it. There's always tomorrow, right?
I dread mornings. I never know what's going to happen. I guess I just don't like the idea of you being out of my life.I guess I've just grown accustomed to talking to you everyday and I can't picture myself doing something else on the range of times that I should've been talking to you.
You were never one to share your private life to me. I don't even know how many ex- girlfriends you ever had. Damn, I don't even know your REAL whole name. But, as always. I don't care. I just like talking to you anyway.
I don't like to demand things from you because what we are is actually a big blur to me. IT DOESN'T MATTER, THOUGH. I still love you, anyway. :)
